Le Piroquet

THE SEARING Marseilles heat was a welcome change from the clinging smell of autumnal mildew that permeated Paris of an evening. It was morning, dawn but a distant memory for the flora and the fauna encircling my bedroom window. The sun already seemed high and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. I had just opened theContinue reading “Le Piroquet”

Devil’s Pawn

ACT I A TEENAGE boy wakes from a deep sleep surrounded by a beautiful vista, a field of blue and red poppies in a sea of green. The sky is exquisite sapphire. An airship in the shape of a pointing hand flies overhead, emblazoned with red block letters that he cannot read. A road appearsContinue reading “Devil’s Pawn”

The Reference

A MAN applied for a job that required three telephone references. Being self-employed, identifying suitable up-to-date referees who were available for comment was not always a straightforward matter, so he asked his live-in girlfriend and former business partner Erica if she could do the honours. To this she agreed. Three days later, Erica’s mobile phoneContinue reading “The Reference”

High Altar

A LONG long time ago in a far off town, some friends and I were invited to a swanky party at an abandoned Victorian monastery that had been converted into a corporate events venue. Rumour had it that back in the day the monks used to run their own moonshine. II ON FINDING ourselves aContinue reading “High Altar”

North and South

A MAN applied for the post of geography teacher at a school in Northampton and was invited for an interview. When he didn’t show, the headmaster phoned him on his mobile half an hour later to find out what had become of him. “Oh,” the man said, “I’m a bit lost. I can’t find you.”Continue reading “North and South”

Moby

MANY full moons ago I flew to Duluth, Minnesota, via Chicago on a business trip. A few minutes into the return ascent out of Duluth, I looked out the window. Even in the blinding sunlight, I could make out the shape of a very large white underwater creature feeding by the side of a small lake. At firstContinue reading “Moby”

The Visitation

Wee Willie Winkie runnin’ through the toon, Upstairs doonstairs in his nichtie-goon, Chapping at the windaes, peekin’ through the locks, Are a’ the children in their beds, it’s past eight o’clock. (slightly customised version of Scottish nursery rhyme – Wee Willie Winkie is the Scottish equivalent of the Sandman) I THE NIGHT began just likeContinue reading “The Visitation”

The Lab

  DEEP in the forest lay a pharmaceutical testing facility. Its location was once a secret but it was common knowledge now that many sentient beings of the four-legged variety went in and never came out. Leading away from the bars of the massive steel gate and between an avenue of conifers was a roadContinue reading “The Lab”

When life imitates fiction II

There’s nothing holding the plane together and Leslie Nielsen is in the next seat. What now? “ … WHILE the stewardesses were dishing out the meals, I had seized the opportunity to get a sneaky peek at Mister Nielsen. However, the waft of musk emanating from the scarved bosom of the overgrown Girl Guide leaningContinue reading “When life imitates fiction II”

When life imitates fiction I

The evening started so well. Like a fairytale it was … “… I LEGGED it at the next stop … Giving nothing away until the last possible moment, I attached myself to a small group of people in order to make my escape. Even as I dashed along the platform, I took a backward glance, onlyContinue reading “When life imitates fiction I”